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1) The markets may be bad, but i slept like baby,. Every hour i woke up and cried.

2) A Forex trader walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. There the waiter asks him:

    WAITER: Should I cut it into four pieces or six?
    Trader: I'm feeling rather hungry right now. Better cut it into six pieces

3) Markets are crazy, every moment one guy buys, second sells and both think that they will make money.

4) If you must count your money, you don't have  billion dollars.

5) The real measure of wealth is how much will you be worth, after you lose all of your money.

6) Forex money manager is in the street and very nice young lady asks him:

    Lady: Dear sir, I'm making a poll, can i ask you simple question?

    Manager: Of course.

    Lady: What is your average income?

    Manager: My average income is around 200 000 $.

    Lady: Im sorry, i thought your monthly income.

    Manager: Im sorry, i thought you meant daily.

7) Forex trader: What is a million years like to you?

    God: Like one second.
    Forex trader: What is a million dollars like to you?
    God: Like one penny.
    Forex trader: Can I have a penny?
    God: Just a second

8) There's a surgeon, an architect and an economist. The surgeon said, 'Look, we're the most important. God's a surgeon because the very first thing God did was to extract Eve from Adam's rib.' The architect said, 'No, wait a minute, God is an architect. God made the world in seven days out of chaos.' The economist smiled, 'And who made the chaos?'

9) October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.